Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Strategy For a Lifetime

You start with 20's, Mix in a bull
Move to 18's, Mix in a bull
Move to 16's, Mix in a bull
Move to 15's, Mix in a bull
Move to 19's, Mix in a bull
Move to 17's, Mix in a bull
The new record is 8...really it was 7 plus 1
This means 22 darts finished one game, not quite professional but almost hustler.
AJBL

Friday, February 19, 2010

Lent

I gave up complaining for Lent...but that doesn't mean I cannot chronicle the exploits of apple squirrels, stand by for more stories with a matter of fact approach for the next 40 days...if anyone stumbles upon this.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Surprised You Know What Vodka Is

Dear Farmhand Hat Convention at Table 44,

  As I sat and watched Michigan State attempt a comeback in vain, I spotted you parking your vehicle, sideways across three spaces. You didn't even have a trailer, that's strike one. Collectively, the four of you knocked enough mud and assorted shit all over the floor. It was snowing all day long, I understand you were at the fairgrounds but did you seek out the mud pen? That's strike two. After mimicking one another's orders all around the table you grabbed your drinks and asked where the smoking section was. Obviously, you're not from around here, I dutifully informed you of the smoking ban that has been in effect for two years now. This means it's old news, not fodder for conversation through the course of your meal. That's strike three, I should have seen the writing on the wall.



















After making change for 2 $100 bills you all collectively stiffed me, costing me 2% of your sales and for all you know, restricting my ability to feed my imaginary fish. I sincerely hope you have a terrible time at the fairgrounds doing whatever you're doing at your white hog convention. Luckily for me, students with futures and no overalls came in to make up for your total absence of generosity. Here's a tip, since you lack the ability to leave one, it's never too late for charm school.

AJBL

Saturday, September 12, 2009

When the Jackalopes sleep in

Dreeeeeeeamweaver: Alright, among the four ridiculous dreams I had last night, one stands out as just plain outlandish. I haven't played soccer since grade school on the pitch of C.C. Duff Elementary. In my dreams, for some reason I found a group of friends playing soccer and I got to play striker. The only problem was after I made a bad pass, somebody whom I can't remember told me I had to weedeat and edge the entire field. Somehow I hadn't noticed all the landscaping, and it actually pulled me out of the game for some time.


 In retrospect I wonder if it was my dad. But it didn't stop there, as soon as I was done with that I had to go to work.  I was going back to work at Applebee's , but before that I was watching gamecast of a Rangers and Red Sox game that the Rangers were winning 7-5. Elvis Andrus hit a home run to take the lead 8-5. But the announcers voice was sullen because after the homerun he revealed that Josh Hamilton had to sit out for the rest of the season. I don't know if this qualifies asa  nightmare or a dreamscape, you decide.
Playoffs!?!?: Both of my fantasy baseball teams are playing in "October" and both are facing steep challenges. The Shoeless Squirrels have to flip a 6-4 defecit and the only way that's going to happen is if Adam Dunn and Manny Ramirez continue to mash and Magglio Ordonez somehow remembers how to drive runners in. It kind of frustrates me that I've held on to him,  in the future I'll remember what Alec Baldwin means when he says "Fire their ass because a loser is a loser."




I'm a big Marlins, Cubs and Rangers fan (naturally) this weekend as I need saves from Nunez, Marmol and Francisco. In the other league the Lines of Selfishness really needs Justin Morneau to equal his hit total from the past ten days (3) tonight and to find some scrubs to get me some strikeouts tomorrow to flip 7-2 to my favor.  I don't know if either situation will happen, but fantasy sports always have parlor tricks waiting in the wings.

Kenny Powers Wisdom: "See in life, when you have talent, all the other shit doesn't matter. If we were on an island with no weights, and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent."

Without further explanation: Give me these teams in these matchups, and if you really want to know why, give me a call.
UCLA vs Tennessee: Rocky Top Tennessee
Notre Dame vs Michigan: Hail, Hail to Michgian the champions of the West.
USC vs Ohio State: I'm not including their fight song, but in the spirit of old school ESPN commericals: BUCKEYE. You may think this is hypocritical, but know this, the only school to win more games than Mizzou these last three season is USC. They hold the margin by 1 victory, and couple a USC loss with a Mizzou win over Bowling Green, we have a tie!
Shot in the dark upset pick: James Madison vs Maryland: Bright in the lights of Madison, James Madison


Random Fact about Ruth Bader Ginsburg: Made an appearance as a "super" in the Washington Opera Ariadne auf Naxos. 

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Non-Conformity (On two accounts) on 9-9-09

Hello,
I was driving on the streets of Chicagoland and I decided I'd pick this thing back up, hopefully with more consistency. It'll feature a variety of staples and tacks whenever I decide to throw them in, lets get to business.

Tetris Watch: 168 lines, not quite 194 and definitely not 200. A change in strategy is imminent.

Hello Win Column: The Rangers won again today pushing their record to 79-60. This is happy news on a degree of angles. 79 is equal to the amount of games they won all of last year, it'll take a '95 Angels collapse to not get to above .500 for the first since '04 and it keeps them in step with both the Angels and the Red Sox. Second, I'm still looking, but I don't know the last time a team won three games in less than 24 hours. I kind of recall that happening in a Jim Sundberg tournament I may have played in back in the day, I'll have to consult James Dunbar Sr. and Curtis Rutledge for confirmation. Finally, Scott Feldman is pitching like a velociraptor. The man is on fire on the road (won seven consecutive road starts) and making a serious case to at least get some votes on the Cy Young ballot. While wins are largely overrated, 16 ties him for tops in the league and he is a big reason these Rangers are threatening to repeat '90's Ranger Greatness (The late, great Johnny Oates would approve of these fellas, without that wince).

Oh how I hate ohio state: Terelle Pryor, come on down, your the next reason for despising at ohio state. If you haven't heard by now, you ought to to stop and catch this bit of comedy gold . Yeah, Terelle, maybe if you were being interviewed by a group of reporters featuring Jeffery Dahmer and John Dillinger that would be true. Unfortunately it was probably some scro from Dayton and you were lauding a guy who is about as heroic as a grocery sack. I'm not saying I'm rooting against Michael Vick, and if he weren't an Eagle I would be actively wishing him well, but facts are facts and that guy is no hero. I can't wait to see what Terelle scores on the Wunderlic, maybe he and Vince Young have something more in common than athleticism and poor throwing style.

Pass the Mic': Our esteemed President Barack Obama has had quite a week with the TelePrompTer and microphone. Earlier this week, he pissed off Republicans everywhere with crazy rhetoric on staying in school and taking responsibility for molding the future. Look, regardless of political leanings, when the President of the United States speaks you should listen. It's such a shame that there are parents that would rather their children not listen to somebody THEY disagree with than hold the man with the highest office with some level of respect.  At least give them the opportunity to disagree with him by their own accord. What's your message? If you disagree with someone you don't have to listen? Please, take that nonsense with you on a space ship to another galaxy and leave this world in better hands.
       The topic of healthcare reform absolutely whips me. I only have a couple of points. First, if you take the time to read the bill and make up your own mind, you have free range. The next time I hear someone disagree with healthcare reform based on anecdotal evidence from their buddy at the lodge, I'm gonna throw them in a boxcar full of snakes.
  

Bill H3200 is quite lengthy, but you can find it here , and if you want to support or disagree with it you will be doing so without the aid of MSNBC or FOXNews or your Uncle Wilbur who still insists that Obama isn't a U.S. Citizen.

Random fact about Sandra Day O'Connor: Shot a Hole-in-one at Paradise Valley Country Club in 2000.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Project Rolling

Our CBS EyeMobile has started, and it's already opening my eyes to a few different things. My first test was with a young lady who was a communications major. I thought it was a very helpful test because she didn't understand some of the basic concepts that a journalist would. It's not that the EyeMobile website is a bastion of great journalism yet, but there are ideas, like the sub categories and news tags on the website.
As the testing goes on through the next week I wonder what will be different if I interview journalism majors. This will most likely be a main component of our presentation to the class. I wonder how important the people at CBS will find it. I know the most accurate gage for all of this is how regular people respond to it, but I do find the differences in perceptions amongst our peers very intriguing.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Good talk with the Fellows

Monday's class was quite intriguing, both fellows know a lot about journalism and the conversation was very insightful. We discussed the election, which made me happy that I had followed a lot of what we covered and I varied my viewing on election night. The discussion makes me want to sit down and find out what people want in election coverage heading up to the election and on election night. We had some good insights in class and really got at what builds the intrigue around our democracy.

I also enjoyed the class because we talked about journalism evolution. We constantly hear about how journalism is a changing industry. I enjoyed the discussion because we didn't focus on theory of how journalism is changing but how to adapt and think as an enteperuner and a journalist, like Nate Silver did with fivethirtyeight.com. We discussed a site whose name escapes me right now. Essentially it answered a question I had in the spring. I wanted to know how to break down the Bear Stearnes collapse in simple terms for consumers, I thought it might lead to something bigger. Turns out it did and it turns out somebody broke the budget collapse down by aggregating stories and analysis about the bailout. That helped consumers understand it better. So perhaps the future for individuals and conglomerates alike is learning how to convey information in simpler more effective ways.